Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Are We Still Talking About This? Come on folks.....move on!

OK, folks are actually still asking about the ceremony.....which was wayyyyyyyy back in July. We have been married so long that we have separate twin beds with a little bedstand and a lamp between us and when I say something important, JC just says "uh huh" as he keeps reading his newspaper. Just kidding....we are still blissfully hanging out in our home on wheels with two muddy dogs.
But honestly, people who were not at the ceremony and people who were have been asking for a copy of our vows. Seems strange to post them....but since I need to read them anyway, I will reel them into the blogspace. I did not actually read mine at the ceremony, and I was going on four hours sleep and so brainless at our ceremony that I didnt really hear JC's. So we can all check them out together.

Rae's vows to JC:

-It is not easy to write vows for this. The power of our connection is something we have not even been able to put into words for each other when it is just the two of us. It is those silent grateful times of knowing that are more common than having to say what we feel to each other.
-I walked by the bookshelf and saw David Whyte’s poetry book on the shelf called The House Of Belonging. I pulled the book off the shelf and stared at the title. That is IT I thought. That is what I have with you. I have searched for HOME for a long time. I have only felt that HOME when alone or with dogs in a very quiet place with no human made sounds. I have never felt totally at HOME with another person. With you, JC, I feel I am in the House of Belonging.

While holding a beautiful stone that I found that is half black and half white:
We are an unlikely pair in many ways….very different histories….proof is our different music taste and cultural experience…
When I cover the black part of the stone it looks like a boring white stone...when I cover the white part, it looks like a boring black rock. But both together are is the contrast that makes that stone what it is....

What you give me-
Your acceptance of who I am, Your understanding of what brings me despair and what brings me joy, and your willingness to share those with me even when they are not your own. I can be quiet inside when I am with you. I am not alone in my pain about the suffering of the world. You feel it too.

I don't know all of what I give to you. But I know what I love and respect about you.
We met and my way of communicating openly about everything was new to you and you were willing to learn this new way of being.
You have the strength to tell me when I am being a shit and the willingness to admit when you are being one.

-You act on what you know more completely than anyone I have ever met.
You work tirelessly on alleviating suffering in the world and speak your truth even when it means sacrificing fitting in and being liked by everyone .

-You care for the planet and yourself and me with such dedication.

Remember when were in Athens walking back from the park along the railroad tracks. I started tightrope walking along the rail and you were on the other rail. We were falling off a lot. You held your hand out to me and we walked along easily without going off balance.
Life is like that. It is tough to stay balanced on that thin slippery rail of life.
You have been that solid support in my life…..always there adding stability and ease.

I love you with the biggest room in my heart mansion JC….

JC's Vows to Rae:
Debra Rae Sikora, three years ago you came bursting into my life at this wonderful event called the Vegetarian SummerFest. In that short period of time my love for you has grown into a deeper satisfying relationship than I ever thought possible. It seems I love you more each day.

I adore so many things about you, from the childish glee you get with snuggling in your sleeping bag, to warm fleece jackets, to post-it notes and highlighters. From fingers in your ears when you are frightened to rhythmically squeezing my hand three times to say “I love you.” You warm my heart each time I glance up unexpectedly and find your sweet gaze studying my face.

We have traveled long in life and have shared our lives with many others. Our paths have crossed and meandered in the past, but now they have merged. There is an ease of life with you, the likes of which I have never known. We share many values… from work and play to hopes and dreams. I have finally found what I’ve always missed in life and this is a very good thing.

Wherever we may find ourselves on any given day as we travel around the country, I want to go to sleep each night with your kiss on my lips and to wake every morning seeing your peaceful shining face.

You are a true friend, Rae. You keep me emotionally honest and genuinely real. Your laughter can fill my heart, while your tears can shake me to the core. I feel honored to be loved and cherished by you and I can only hope that I have, in some measure, returned the happiness that you have brought to me.

I love you, Debra Rae Sikora. Would you honor me by taking this ring and joining me in forging the next phase of our lives?

OK everyone, dry your eyes and get back to work. Enough of this romantic stuff.
Back to the business at hand....packing up Adena's house, finishing my book editing and writing this blog when something juicy happens.

I mean really, daily life is not romantic vows. It includes stuff like JC giving me a used bag to use as a poop bag for the dogs and swearing it had no holes. Then, me taking our dogs and Adena's dogs for a walk and scooping her dog Taylor's soupy poo and finding it running out a hole into the palm of my hand. Real daily stuff as Ms. Menopause talks to Mr. Hearing Aid and a mouse moves into the little home on wheels and runs laps on all your clean stuff while he uses it as a litter box.
And through it all we just keep popping our heads up from the wild ride and seeing that the other person is still there riding next to us...solid as can be.
(Our next dog will be like this guy and save me the trouble of those potentially hazardous bags)


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  2. Thank you for sharing these beautiful vows, Rae. Your love for each other makes the world shine brighter. It's a gift for everyone.

    Many blessings to you both.

    Huge hugs,

  3. Freaking awww! Thank you for sharing your vows, Rae. It made me feel - in a small way - that I was there. More than that, it made me appreciate what a beautiful thing you have found together.